The Foundation: Identifying Your Non-Negotiables

You can't set boundaries if you don't know what they are.

Previously I talked about why the "always on" mentality is a one-way ticket to burnout. Now, it's time to build your foundation. Before you can communicate your boundaries to anyone else, you first have to understand what they are for you. This is a critical step that requires some honest self-reflection.

Think of it like building a house. You wouldn't start framing the walls before you have a solid foundation, would you? Your non-negotiables are that foundation. They are the core principles that protect your time, energy, and well-being. They are the things you will not compromise on, no matter what.

So, let's get started. Grab a notebook or open a blank document on your computer. Answer the following questions honestly. Don't worry about what you "should" do; focus on what truly works for you.

1. What are your sacred hours?

This is about time. When are you simply not available for work? This could be from 5 PM to 8 PM on weekdays to have dinner with your family. It could be every Sunday morning for a run. Or maybe it's the first hour of your day, from 8 AM to 9 AM, which is dedicated to quiet, focused work before the pings start.

• Takeaway: Identify at least two blocks of time in your week that are for you and you alone.

2. What are your energy thieves?

This is about energy. What tasks or situations at work drain you the most? Is it a particular type of meeting? Is it answering emails from a certain colleague? Is it a project that pulls you in a dozen different directions? Sometimes, the most important boundary isn't about time, but about protecting your mental and emotional energy.

• Takeaway: List the top three things that consistently leave you feeling exhausted.

3. What does a "balanced" workday look like?

This is about daily habits. A balanced workday isn't always a 9-to-5. For some, it might be a split shift. For others, it’s a day with no back-to-back meetings. What habits would make your days feel more productive and less chaotic? It could be taking a lunch break away from your desk, or blocking out an hour for deep work.

• Takeaway: Think of one small habit you can introduce to your workday to make it feel more manageable.

4. What are your workplace values?

This is about your core beliefs. What do you value most in your work life? Is it autonomy? Collaboration? Intellectual curiosity? Work-life harmony? Knowing your values can help you identify when they are being compromised. For example, if you value "work-life harmony," a request to work late every night is a clear violation of a core value.

• Takeaway: Write down your top three workplace values.

Once you've answered these questions, you will have the raw material for your "Boundary Blueprint." This isn't a rigid, unchangeable document. It’s a living, breathing guide that you can return to as your life and career evolve.

Remember, this is the most critical step. You cannot build a wall of "no" if you don't know where the property line is. Take your time with this exercise. The clarity you gain will be the fuel for the rest of this series.

In my next post, we'll get to the fun part: learning how to say "no" politely and firmly.